About four years ago I started having mild bouts of depression; I guess what most folks would call “the blues”. These bouts would last about a week and then would go away, only to resurface a few months later, and each time the depression got worse. I would fight my way through it, and it would go away. I didn’t seek out help, I’m a very independent and stubborn person, and was sure that this could be beaten alone. My depression was indeed an enigma, sometimes striking at what should’ve been a very happy time. I mean, heck, this can’t be happening to me, I’ve got a great relationship, career, etc. and so forth. I never discussed this with anyone, determined to beat it on my own. Then a couple of years ago, things got so bad, I contemplated suicide. Most of what has happened between then and now shall remain a private matter. I did however, a little over a year ago seek and get treatment for my condition. The first thing my doctor did was to medicate, first with Prozac/Lithium then Zoloft. None of these were totally effective, I just felt kind of blah, existing in a never happy state, with bursts of depression every couple of weeks. Well Butrin worked a little better; the intermittent episodes more or less disappeared. But I still only felt so-so.
About 5 mos ago I sat down and did some serious brain-grinding and turned my thoughts back to when the depression episodes first started happening and asked myself “What had I started doing differently about that time?” My strongest possible link was that right around then I started on a fitness kick and started using Aspartame as my only form of sweetener. NutraSweet in my soda, NutraSweet in recipes. NutraSweet on my cereal. On and on and on. My next step was to eliminate using it all together. I’m back to using regular sugar, but in moderate amounts and am happy 🙂 to say that my depressed feelings have more or less gone by the wayside. When my last prescription of
Well Butrin ran out in November, I didn’t bother to get it refilled.
So, this is my conclusion – it’s POSSIBLE that this was indeed the cause; it’s POSSIBLE that the anti-depression drugs have caused my level of neuro-transmitters to stabilize; it’s POSSIBLE that my form of self-treatment has caused a psychosomatic reaction. Please don’t accept this as fact without further studies. I have yet to discuss this with my doctor, as I haven’t made a follow-up visit. So far, so good. I’m hoping and praying that this was the key.